Mother’s Day is Everyday

I’ve never been a fan of Mother’s Day. It’s silly to me that just because the calendar tells us too, we remember to show love and kindness to our moms, and our husbands pretend to take care of us by taking charge of one day, which really most times just ends up making Monday morning a whole lot harder.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s a nice gesture, but let’s remember there are 364 other days of the year  moms are completely overlooked for all they do. 

   These last few years as my oldest children have been transitioning into adulthood and marriage,  my middle kiddos are growing into teenagers, and my littlest ones are no longer little, I’ve learned a lot about my God, myself, and my kids. This job of motherhood is hard, and most days I feel completely inadequate in this overwhelming responsibility I have to seven inquisitive sets of eyes that are constantly watching me to see how I will lead them. It’s a daunting task to know it’s my responsibility to raise them to adulthood successfully. But it is also my greatest privilege, and I know that because my eyes are on my Lord, He leads me as lead them. 

   Nevertheless I make huge mistakes and they see. Just recently was one such event, the details of that day and the culmination of emotion and eventual release are so intense I still can not write about it, but I can say this, my kids saw the raw emotion, they have seen it building and on that day it all came pouring out of me in ugly ways, I had to get away, and so I did. When I returned it was with a new perspective, changed, only by Him in ways only He can do.  I found a few words to explain all I’d experienced while I was away alone and my kids listened, I apologized and hugged them through tears. And we moved into a new day. 

   I have allowed them to see me fail, to tell me when they feel I’m failing them, open, honest, respectful conversation is vital to our growth and I welcome the tough conversations. Because I’ve seen the results.  

   I am proud of each of my kids and although the struggles are real and the frustration come, we will persevere. God is so good, I am blessed.

Taking Care

This morning a certain three year old climbed in bed with us just before my alarm went off.  It was a chilly morning so I turned off the alarm and snuggled in with her. I heard brad get up shortly after to start his day. He returned after about an hour or so with a hot cup of coffee and reminder that I had turned my alarm off. He knows I don’t like to lose some of these beautiful early morning hours. But it is still too chilly to sit on my step, and I’ve already heard the girls go out to tend to the animals, so here I am snuggled in my bed with a warm cup of coffee this morning.

It’s being taken care of that strikes me the most this morning. I am a person who takes care of all those around me, at any cost! This can be a gift and a curse. At times it has caused great distress as I have often abandoned my family to help others. I am learning to find balance in that. I love helping people, cooking for them, cleaning for them, running errands, and being a listening ear are all part of who I am and how I desire to serve others. But there is a line that can be crossed if I am neglecting my family to do so. I am praying through my steps of 2021 as I desire still to be a light and a helper in this world, but also recognizing that I have a family that needs their mama to stay home just a bit more. 

Last year I was reminded by a dear friend, that sometimes I need to be taken care of at times and that’s ok. As mamas we don’t always like to hear this. I believe myself to be strong and capable and mostly not in need of anyone helping me. But what I’ve come to realize is every so often it’s nice for someone to do something for me. Brad has taken to making me a cup of coffee in the morning and bringing it into the bedroom just before the alarm goes off. It’s something he hasn’t done since we were early married, and it is a sweet gesture of love, knowing my love affair with coffee!

Our official first week of the new year was hijacked by a positive Covid case in our extended family with whom we’ve had contact. We have been laying low, and so far have stayed healthy. But this week has allowed me the opportunity to be alone with my thoughts, ALOT! And plenty of time for prayer and contemplation about what I desire to see change in my life, and the life of my family and this coming year. Mostly I desire for us to be a family of closeness and prayer. A family who desires to be together, work together, serve together, and enjoy life together. This is not easy with a family of our size and all of the side roads that seem to be appearing on the pathway as our older children find their own way in life. But I seek to instill in them the desire to care for others, especially family first, in doing so we are strengthened from within to serve in this world. If there was ever a time this world needed taking care of it now it’s now. These are tumultuous times. I urge you start your day filling yourself up with the word of God, let us be on our knees, as we are the ones who will bring light to the darkness, God is the same yesterday today and forever, but we are called to action! We must serve, we must take care of those in need, we must be the light!