I’ve never been a fan of Mother’s Day. It’s silly to me that just because the calendar tells us too, we remember to show love and kindness to our moms, and our husbands pretend to take care of us by taking charge of one day, which really most times just ends up making Monday morning a whole lot harder. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a nice gesture, but let’s remember there are 364 other days of the year moms are completely overlooked for all they do.
These last few years as my oldest children have been transitioning into adulthood and marriage, my middle kiddos are growing into teenagers, and my littlest ones are no longer little, I’ve learned a lot about my God, myself, and my kids. This job of motherhood is hard, and most days I feel completely inadequate in this overwhelming responsibility I have to seven inquisitive sets of eyes that are constantly watching me to see how I will lead them. It’s a daunting task to know it’s my responsibility to raise them to adulthood successfully. But it is also my greatest privilege, and I know that because my eyes are on my Lord, He leads me as lead them.
Nevertheless I make huge mistakes and they see. Just recently was one such event, the details of that day and the culmination of emotion and eventual release are so intense I still can not write about it, but I can say this, my kids saw the raw emotion, they have seen it building and on that day it all came pouring out of me in ugly ways, I had to get away, and so I did. When I returned it was with a new perspective, changed, only by Him in ways only He can do. I found a few words to explain all I’d experienced while I was away alone and my kids listened, I apologized and hugged them through tears. And we moved into a new day.
I have allowed them to see me fail, to tell me when they feel I’m failing them, open, honest, respectful conversation is vital to our growth and I welcome the tough conversations. Because I’ve seen the results.
I am proud of each of my kids and although the struggles are real and the frustration come, we will persevere. God is so good, I am blessed.
