The New Year

Dear Father in Heaven,

As I approach this new year I thank You for time. The time I have had in the past year to know You better through all of the incidents and challenges I have experienced. I thank You that You are a God who forgives because I have failed in so many ways to do what is right in Your eyes, and I have often chosen the path that is easier, but that also leads away from Your will for my life. I pray that in the coming year I allow You to guide me in all things, may my feet stand firm on the path You set before me, may my words be only those of honesty and love, may my actions point others to You.


We are only given a short time on this earth, so help me to remember that as a Christian I need to show Your love to others. Help me to live my life in such a way that others see Your light pouring from me.

How awesome You are Father. One, that You would love such a wretch as me, and two, that You would love me enough to send Your Son to die so I will not perish. I can not thank You enough or ever repay such a debt. As I look inside myself I acknowledge that I do not deserve such a gift, but I thank You so much for doing what I could not do.


I often fail You in so many ways. I do not always love my husband as I should and I disrespect his authority, I allow my children to disobey me and disrespect is brought about, I am often lazy, wasting the time I have on this earth. I am hurtful in my speech and actions, and I ask You to forgive me. Help me in the new year to think before speaking or acting. Help me to live a life that will glorify You. Help me as I raise my children to love You and put You first. Help me to love my husband and strive harder to work as a team in our marriage and partnership as parents. May I be a blessing this year in some way to all those I meet. Give me eyes to see needs and the strength to accomplish tasks, and as I work at all these things may I grow more in love with You, the Lover of my soul. Amen

Perfection

I consider myself a perfectionist in therapy. I have always liked things done in a certain way and order. In our first home with only two children everything had a place and each night before bed all was tidy and right in my little world. I was happy. I am still happy, but a new home( that we have been remodeling since we moved in) and 3 children later, I am no longer surrounded by order. It is not always easy for me, but I am learning that there are more important things than having the crayons sorted by color.

Tonight we had a (not so funny) funny thing happen. We have just finished a (two week)remodel of our upstairs kid's bathroom. It was started in February, my husband said it would take two weeks so I say go for it. As you can see it has taken over 8 months. Mostly because my husband also likes things done perfectly. Unfortunately his perfection takes a very long time. He went to great lengths to insure that everything was of the best quality, did all the work himself, putting in special water barriers to protect against leaks. He does not like plumbing and that was the major cause for delay, but he finally prevailed and the bathroom was ready for use.

As we sat downstairs this evening our daughter called down to us that water was all over the bathroom floor. I ran up to see what had happened as my husband noticed that it was leaking from the vents and recessed can lights into the kitchen, which is under the bathroom. I immediately set to mopping up the water which had resulted from the curtain not being properly in the shower as our daughter prepared to shower. My husband checked the attic for the extent of the damage. and mopped up the kitchen.

The water had leaked under the door past all the precautionary measures he had taken and found a crack in the deck to seep into the kitchen. I can not help but laugh a little.

Perfection is not something we can attain, because God is always showing us ways to improve, we will never fully get there. And it is only through Him that we are made perfect and I am not even sure that will happen until we are face to face with Him. So I will remember this evening with a smile. Because I believe it is a reminder that although we may strive for perfection...there is always room for improvement.

Friday's Funny

Two of my children, Boy 6, Girl 4, were in the car with me running errands. My daughter asked if I had sat in her carseat in the back of our car when I was little like her. My son answered, "No they didn't have cars when mom was little!"

It's the most Wonderful Time of The Year????? Really???

So if you are knee deep in Christmas prep like me, you might be asking yourself that very question. I currently have a million things running around in my head and not enough hours left in the year to complete them all, but I know that somehow it will all come together and everything will get done and I will sigh with great relief that once again my Christmas miracle has come.


This evening I my cell phone rang around dinner time (which was leftovers for anyone who wished and we did not eat together) and it was my Pastor (remember I volunteer as worship leader in my church). I though it odd that he would call in the evening so I answered to see what was up and was met with the question, " what are you doing up at 2:30 in the morning." I was caught off guard only because I had been scrubbing floors around that time last night or this morning rather, and had no idea how he knew that. I asked how he knew I was up, " what have you seen or heard?" I joked. He had in fact received an automated email to a party we are having reminding him to come and it was sent at that early hour. I told him that I did not send the email, but that Evite does that all on its own. He responded, " but you were up because you just admitted that when you asked how I knew you were up." So true, " well," I told him, "that is when I get my best work done." He told me I should get more sleep and take better care of myself. I hung up and darted out the door with a full shopping list and my to do list. It is now 11:51p.m. as I write.

I say all that because as moms we often do not have the time in the daylight hours to accomplish all that we need to get done. I love the night and am thankful these hours are available for me to play catch up. I love my sleep, but it is always fitful knowing there are things I have left undone during my day. The same is true for when I have left something undone or unsaid with my husband or children. I am learning that as busy as we are as moms we need to slow down handle things as they arise and take time to do and say what we are thinking and feeling.

Tonight I sat with my eldest daughter and finished up our annual Christmas ornaments. We make them every year to give as gifts to our friends and family at our Christmas open house. It was late and the house was quiet as we worked and talked, just the two of us. My night time is also the time I get to talk to God without distraction. It is the time I hear Him most, when all is quiet and I take the time to listen. Sometimes He tells me I am doing an OK job with my life as mom and wife, other times He shows me areas that desperately need work. But it is always in the night that I feel Him the most. He reminds me that today was just one day and tomorrow I might get another. But if tomorrow doesn't come will I sleep tonight knowing I did my best for Jesus.

Lord, In this time of year when everything seems to speed up, help me to slow down. Help me to see that there are people who need You. Help me to see the needs of those around me and take an extra moment, even when it feels I am running out of time. Mostly do not let me get so caught up in the frantic need to hurry up and have a good holiday that I forget that You sent Jesus, My Savior, and that is why we celebrate. Help me to instill these precious truths in my children so that as they grow their memories are filled with You and the Savior's birth. Thank You for the time I do have, and thank you for coffee! Amen

Clean Hands

Often I am approached by my youngest children and asked to smell their hands. They stand before me with a dripping wet shirt, and a big smile and I at once know that I need to buy more soap. They are so excited to have clean hands. As I smelled my daughter's sweet peppermint hands this morning I was at once struck by the thought of spiritual cleanliness. In this season of celebrating the Savior's birth we can not help but look to his death. For that is the ultimate reason God the Father sent Him to earth.


We took our children to visit a local church that was offering a Journey Thru Bethlehem to the public. It was amazing and I watched the delight of it all play on my children's faces. But we came to the scene of the cross. The women knelt at the foot and wept, Jesus breathed His last breath, and declared " it is finished," and tears filled my eyes as I heard the soldier whisper, "truly this was the Son of God." At that moment my thoughts were of the horrific death this soldier had been a part of creating and yet at the moment of death he truly believed, and his belief cleansed him.


We are filth, cleansed only by the shed blood of Christ. I can not imagine having to carry around my faults, my failure, my wrong actions and attitudes, my sinfulness.... I stood there that night and my heart overflowed with thanksgiving and awe at the sacrifice my Lord provided for me the most unworthy of all. Because of him there is joy and freshness. A cleanliness that no other could provide.

" For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Romans 3:23
" Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved." Acts 16:31

Heavenly Father,

Thank for that day so long ago when you sent Your one and only Son into this wretched world to allow forgiveness for all. Thank you for the sacrifice of His life and His shed blood that enable us to know you in a personal way and call you our heavenly Father. we can not ever fully comprehend how you could have given so much for us. We know our sin and see our filth and acknowledge that we do not deserve the gift You offer. That You Lord for loving us and paying our sin debt so that we might have life everlasting with You. Amen

Christmas Decorations

We lugged the Christmas bins out of the attic and stacked them in the hall. I was at once overwhelmed!!! I ask myself every year, "why so much", and each year a little bit more stays packed up. There are a few things though that will always be set up in our home during the holiday and as my children grow older they remember these items and look forward to decorating our house with them.

I was in the kitchen when my 6 year old son came in and asked when we would set up the Christmas German Shepherd. I was busy and my thoughts immediately went to DOG. I told him I had no idea what decoration that was and he said, " you have to know we set it up every year." I asked him to show me and that is when he took me to the box holding our Nativity! It will from this day forward be called the Christmas German Shepherd!!!

The Gift of Love

"Love suffereth long, and is kind..." I Corinthians 13:4-8

"Love is premeditated, it is spontaneous,, ie., it bursts up in extraordinary ways." Oswald Chambers

When I think of spontaneous love I think about how I felt when I laid eyes on my first baby girl. It was a rough labor and I think we were both really worn out, but the moment I set my sight on her, my heart burst with a love I did not know existed.


I have known the story of Jesus' birth since childhood, but did not truly understand the gift my heavenly Father gave that night. He chose to place His most precious one in the arms of a girl and knew the path He would follow would only bring pain and suffering. All for my sake. I have heard the story, but without the love I discovered for my children, I did not completely grasp the depth of love exhibited on that quiet Bethlehem night.


And so as I celebrate this season many sentiments and traditions bring tears to my eyes. I often find myself busy with some Christmas task when a song or story causes me to pause and reflect on my Savior. We tend to get caught up in the fun of the holidays and easily forget the true meaning. The moment Christ entered the world His purpose was to die as our sacrifice on Calvary. That sacrifice is what enables us to know in an intimate way the love of God.

I wonder if we can truly love, the kind of sacrificial, unconditional love, without the acceptance of our Savior's love. Many might argue that you do not need to be saved from sin in order to love, but there is still a question in my heart that asks how can we love as Christ without His forgiveness? Oswald Chambers wrote, " The springs of love are in God, not in us. It is absurd to look for the love of God naturally, it is only there when it has been shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit."


I am overwhelmed to think that God loved me so much that He gave His only son that I might have life and love everlasting. What a gift. As I look at my children this night my heart burst with love for them and I thank my heavenly Father for the precious gift He gave, so that I might know LOVE.

Friday's Funny a day early!

I asked my one year old son to help put some things in the living room away. He willingly picked up the toys and put them in the toy box, he helped me put the remotes back on the TV stand, and when I handed him my favorite pair Gianni Bini strappy heels to put in my closet, he trotted off to my room. He returned moments later with a big smile of accomplishment. I thanked him for his help and set off on another task. Hours later I was in my bathroom and went to throw something in the trash when I discovered my favorite heels in the trash can!!! We will be repeating that lesson!

Self Control

"In self-discipline, one makes a 'disciple' of oneself. One is one's own teacher, trainer, coach, and 'disciplinarian'. William J. Bennett ( The Book of Virtues)

Self discipline was our first chapter in our study of the Book of Virtues. I thought it was a fitting start for our school year for what better way to commit ourselves wholeheartedly to the task of our studies than to begin with self-discipline. In the introduction to this chapter Bennett speaks of this self- discipline as being at the very center of successful everyday behavior, " whether it is controlling our tempers, or our appetites, or our inclinations to sit all day in front of the television." I immediately recognized the foremost concerns I had for each of my children regarding their own self-discipline. Eating too much, a flaring temper, too fast to fight, addicted to the TV...etc. I was prepared to use this study to show them the errors of their ways and set them on the straight path once again. But I had forgotten one very important element and that is to list my shortcoming in self-discipline.



How are we to show our children the way when so often we are not willing to correct our own behavior? The first Scripture we memorized this school year was 2 Timothy 1:7 " For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline." Without realizing it I had assumed that I did not need to work on any area of self-discipline in my life. That all changed as I observed the areas I thought my children needed to work on; it is then I realized what I had unknowingly passed on to them as acceptable behavior because I did not correct my behavior in front of them. Instead I had blasted a huge GREEN light telling them to go ahead and continue on this path of disrespect that had evolved out of a lack of self-discipline.


We are now all working on it and helping each other stick to our commitment of becoming more controlled by God rather than anger, obsession, or laziness. It is a long road especially for the young ones who are constantly in a state of change. They are changing, the world around them is changing and in the midst of all this I am asking them to stay in control.....what a task!



Why is this so important? In a world where the message of do what feels right and act how you want it blasted at us from every angle, this message of self discipline is so important. As adults we often find it hard to stay in control of our emotions, but with experience we have come to realize that for every emotional outburst there is usually a drastic consequence. For instance, if I get angry and throw the phone in the pool, I will be buying a new phone to replace a broken one. But children often have a disconnect between the outburst and consequence. It is our job as parents to show them from a young age that they must keep themselves under control. They are not responsible for anyone but them self and their own actions.


My youngest son has exhibited signs of a wonderfully colorful temper, when he is told no or has something taken away ( i.e. our cellphone or remotes) He instantly starts to cry and runs in any direction away from the one he is mad at. When he first started doing this he would throw himself to the ground and bang his head in the process. In his anger he always looked up as if we had somehow caused his new offense. Once I knew this was the process I would quickly follow him and keep him from throwing himself, telling him that this was not how we handle our anger. Of course he was screaming and I am sure he neither heard no understood what I was saying. But he no longer throws himself to the ground, banging his head. Is the temper still there? Yes! But we are making progress. I hope that we will have mastered just a fragment of self control in these still young years that will carry us through his childhood enabling him to calm himself, listen to reason, and change his behavior. I believe this is possible because I believe that with God all things are possible. Aristotle wrote that" Virtue, then, is of two kinds, intellectual and moral. Intellectual virtue springs from and grows from teaching, and therefore needs experience and time. Moral virtues come from habit....They are in us neither by nature, nor in despite of nature, but we are furnished by nature with the capacity for receiving them, and we develop them through habit....."


And so I challenge you to think of the things in your life as the parent that need correcting and then take a leap of faith that God will provide you with all you need to help set your children on the path of self-discipline.