you made me a mom

My Baby

    I blinked and 18 years passed.  It's silly to call you a baby because the face I looked at today as you left for work,  was that of a beautiful young woman.  18 years..... but let's start at the beginning.  All I ever wanted was to be a mom.  And the day you were born that is who you made me.  Labor and delivery were some of the hardest days I'd known up to that point of my life.  But when they put you in my arms no words can adequately describe the emotions I felt.  Your firstborn child should come with a warning.  They should tell you how incredibly painful it will be to have your heart so full of love.  I remember rocking you near the window of the hospital room, thinking that this tiny person is counting on me for her every need.  
    In the years that followed, I watched you grow into a sweet little girl, and then a big sister (many times over).  But you were the one who helped me learn how to be a mom.  With you I experienced my firsts; fever, steps, choking, little baby laugher, bath, sleepless nights, and so many more. As you grew older, I saw quite the personality in you.  Oh how independent you were (and still are).  When I close my eyes I can see the piggy tails and knee socks (even in summertime), I can hear your sweet little voice singing You Shine from your carseat in the back of Dad's truck, and lets not forget the backpack!  that bag was always packed with everything you'd need for any occasion and it came with us everywhere.....you were never without a bathing suit, just in case we ended up at Grandma and Pop's Condo (your second home).  I will never forget those sweet little hands that folded in prayer to ask Jesus to be your Savior, and how overwhelming it was was to know that in that moment You had a Heavenly Father who loved you 100 Billion times more than I ever could.  
    Because you were the first, there are some things that I didn't always do or handle correctly and for that I'm sorry.  That's just the way the way the cookie crumbles.  But even my mistakes couldn't keep you from growing into the beautiful young woman you are today.  You are beautiful inside and out.  As your mom I can also say that you are strong minded, independent, confident, a little bit messy at times, cranky when you're tired (or hungry), the messiest cook, my friend, an incredible big sister, stubborn at times, but the one I can count on for anything.  
    God gave me 18 years to instill in you what it means to be His and live your life for Him.  Today I don't stop being your mom,  I just turn you over to Him.  He is the one you are now fully accountable to,  His is the voice you will listen for to guide your ever step, He will be the one you cry out to and seek to know more deeply.  I will alway be your greatest cheerleader in life and just a whisper away.  Thank you for making my dream come true, thanks for making me a mom.  Your mom.