Summer Project

Our summer project has been to build my middle son's clubhouse/fort of his dreams.  I say dreams because he's been dreaming of this day for quite some time now.  I knew we didn't have the time to do this project with our busy summer work schedule (we run a lawn care company, in addition to the full time job Brad works, and all that I have going and summers are crazy) but I pushed my husband to start this project and we have fit in work time on it as the schedule allows.  

This project/fort/practically an addition to our home, has been all my son can think about some days.  And it has truly been a pleasure listening to him and dad work out the building details.  As I sit watching them work today I am reminded of this song I used to sing with my dad.  (I make no apologies that this post contains a reference to another song!) He would play guitar and we would sing this beautiful song together, 

IF YOU ARE A FATHER, YOU ARE A BUILDER 
AND YOUR CHILDREN WILL BECOME WHAT YOU'VE MADE 
PLEASE DO YOUR BEST AND PLEASE DON'T FORGET 
GOD GAVE YOU THE TOOLS FOR THE TRADE (Steve and Annie Chapman)


As parents it is not only our job to see to the physical needs of our children but to also instill in them what it means to be a successful adult.  We live in a fast paced world where we can easily get caught up in the frenzy of just getting through the day.  Instead we should live life with the intention of using each moment we have with our kids to teach them what it means to be a respectful person, kind hearted, how to see the needs of others, what it means to truly follow your heart and your dreams, but mostly what it is to be accountable to our Heavenly Father.  

It is no secret that our children are watching our every move.  I want to believe that they don't see the times I mess up or react wrong but in reality they see these moments all to often.  instead of making excuses for my behavior I use it as a teaching moment and ask them to do better then my example in their lives.  And then I strive to live a life I want them to emulate. I ask God to give me the right words to speak and actions to take.  I know He has given me the tools I need to raise successful adults I just need to use them. I am learning to trust Him more and more in this thing called parenting.  

Brad and I have this arrangement where only one of us can feel overwhelmed or dejected at a time.  There have been times when we've actually fought over which one it gets to be and one of us has to put our issue on the back burner to support the other in that time of need.  I say this because teamwork is at the very core of successful parenting.  If we are not strong together, even it that means one of us is holding up the other, then we are weak. Brad often jokes that with seven kids, if they see even the slightest bit of division between us, they can overtake us in seconds.  It's funny to think about but there is great truth to the picture he paints.  We must remain resolved and committed to work as a team in this HUGE job we've been given.  

Leading by example is key.  While building today my son was talking about my dad and asked, " how is that that Pop can do anything, who taught him?"  I said "he just learned." As the day went on we hit a bump in the building and my son was sure he couldn't do what needed to be done.  Let me say one thing here, Brad is not a fan of heights, he tries, but just can't do it.  All the roof work has been done by my son.  So as he sat perched on the rooftop edge, circular saw in hand, ready to trim off excess plywood, he had a moment of doubt.  He claims that sawdust was in his eyes, but this mom saw the tears of self-doubt and frustration with himself and the job ahead.  Brad and I stood below him as he fought to compose himself.  And with our encouraging words and guidance from our vantage point he made the first cut and with that cut returned all the confidence he needed to finish the job at hand.

If Brad or I had be able to or willing to rush to his aid and do the job for him, what would he have learned?  Instead we spoke words of encouragement to him, telling him our eyes would guide him as he made the cut.  

I told my son there was more to my answer as to how Pop knows how to do everything. Pop listens and learns from those around him.  He knows that when he hits a wall to find another door, to seek advice from those who've already done it.  He knows that it takes a fresh pair of eyes to get the job finished.  But mostly he sticks with it until it's done and he can do just about anything.  

I am grateful for my dad and all that he has taught me.  I am grateful he took Brad under his wing and taught him.  He instilled in both of us that there is not any project we can not take on. And we've tackled quite a few together. His example is still being seen by my kids who thinks he is the coolest!

Mostly though dad taught me that even when I don't see clearly, there is a God who sees it ALL and I can trust him to guide me.  Dad doesn't always speak this in words but he lives it in life.  This is what I mostly want my kids to understand.  And in the meantime I will continue to do my best remembering that, God gave me the tools for the trade.