It’s only 3:30pm and I’m at my limit for this day. I seriously just lost it with my husband and children. Although they did help contribute to my fast declining day, they did not deserve the onslaught of crazy mom they just received.
I’ve started working out again and my days are starting earlier than I’m used to especially since my nights are still long. I keep telling myself to head to bed earlier, but I so love the quiet of night I’ve found myself lingering in the stillness even though the extra sleep is what I really need.
The early mornings are not a problem, (I hate working out but am committed to doing it) the real issue is that I’m up earlier to see and hear all the things that are going to contribute to a really bad day. We run a business and employees are our biggest headache. We’ve had some great ones, we have some good ones, and then there are the ones that seem to be set on crapping up your day. Everyday!
That happened today. One good guy called out sick, one pain in the butt guy called out just to ruin our day. He no longer works for us as of this morning. Two guys that did come in are limited in what they can do, which meant I had to rearrange my day to accommodate them. Still not a huge deal, happens all the time.
Mid morning I went over to Brad’s parents to check in on things and shampoo a chair for them. I was ignored completely by one and I’m just shaking my head that a grown person would so blatantly treat another human being with such disdain. I left their house feeling completely used and aware of the time I lost.
I’m sitting in the dance office contemplating my reaction. One of our dancers here was just crying because her mom didn’t put clothes in her bag to change into. I told her if she stopped crying I’d text her mom. Another grandma in the lobby said that tears are only appropriate when you’ve tried everything else. How true.
How often I react the wrong way because I’m overwhelmed with my situation. I know the truth of God’s word, “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me” but I tend to react before I remind
I know I owe a few people an apology and that is not always fun. This will also be used as a teaching moment so that we don’t end up here any time soon. But mostly I am aware that I am in need of more quiet time with the Lord. I am in a state of constant “go” that I am forgetting to call on the strength He wants to provide. God needs to be first on my to-do list so that when life threatens to overwhelm me I can rely on Him. I will trust Him for the answers when the tears threaten. I will allow Him to help me hold myself in check when I want to lash out. I will listen to His voice throughout the day knowing that when He leads me the outcome is more beautiful.
Lord, thank you for loving this overwhelmed mom. Help me to rest in you and the knowledge that You will give me what I need in any situation to react more appropriately. Help me to live your love out loud to my kids and let them see that even when I fail second chances are there. Amen
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