I wrote a post on Facebook today about the home renovations and chaos we are living in as of late. I just looked at the comments and thought perhaps I sounded “too whiny and ungrateful” as Brad recently called me or sonething close to that. That was not my intent and I’m embarrassed if it came off that way.
Full disclosure and reality check….
We are renovating.
We are selling a business.
Brad is working two full time jobs and acting as GC during renovation, plus doing MUCH of the work.
We are dealing with health issues.
Our 20 yr old. son is apartment shopping looking to move out next month.
Our 17 yr old son is looking for his first car.
Our kids are trying to finish the school year and work the business.
I’m still healing from the burns.
We are dealing with elderly parents.
We are out of coffee.
Now the latter will be remedied as soon as this posts thanks to Amazon. But the other things on the list are not so easily solved. What bothered me about my FB post was that I don’t really complain and wasn’t trying to be whiny but truly wanted to show that sometimes the bad stuff piles up and we act badly.
Instead of focusing on the chaos I thought I’d share instead the why behind what we are doing and the things I have to be grateful for during this time.
In 2020 I felt compelled to allow God to move in my life any way He saw fit. If you’ve followed along on the blog or had a chance to chat with me in the coffee room, you know I want my life and home to be about people (or at least I hope you know that.) I believe with all my heart that any outreach I desire must begin in our home, so we set out to make our home work for us as opposed to against us as it has these many years. This renovation will create spaces for our family to be together and enjoy the things we love, especially food, cooking, and eating together. The strong bounds we create in being together, I pray, will become contagious as we open our home to friends, family, and strangers (new friends.) I believe God wants to use the spaces we are creating in ways I’ve not even dreamt about yet. That both excites and frightens me, but I’m trusting Him even more now than I did in 2020, because I’ve seen His faithfulness and witnessed His goodness.
I’m grateful for a husband and partner who knows how to do so much and has taught our kiddos as well. I’m grateful for kids who pitch in even when they’d rather be doing so many other things.
I believe that when we take time to be away together it builds a stronger bond, so camping trips are on my list of “just do” even though we have so many jobs at home needing attention. I will almost never say no to time with Brad, especially in the car with the top down, even if it means long sleeves, hat, and sunscreen for me these days. I love the birds in the morning and the stars at night because they remind me that the God of the universe is holding it all in His hands, including me and my family. I’m even grateful for the messy days when we don’t get it right because it requires me to take a deep look into my motives and evaluation my actions. Days like today and yesterday I am reminded it’s really not about me.
I told God I was ok with whatever He had planned. I trusted Him in all things and He started cleaning house. Literally and figuratively. It’s been quite the journey, the road has been painful and the losses real, but I’ve learned to trust Him through this purging because I know He holds a better future than I could think, plan, or imagine. And to that I’m open. There’s a song that Meredith Andrews sings called “Make Room”
“And I will make room for You, Jesus
To do whatever You want to
Come do whatever You want to
And I will make room for You
To do whatever You want to
To do whatever You want to
Come do whatever You want to
And I will make room for You
To do whatever You want to
To do whatever You want to
Here is where I lay it down
You are all I'm chasing now
This is my surrender”
You are all I'm chasing now
This is my surrender”
I’m sorry if it sounded like I wanted sympathy, I don’t. What’s going on in my life right now is silly in light of real suffering. But even if it weren’t, I’d not want the world to see me complain, I’d want them to see me praise, because I serve a good good father, deserving of all my praise all the time.
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