I was driving home last night thinking how beautiful the sky was and relishing this time of year. When I turned the corner onto my street, I was met with a full on kickball game in my front yard. Wow, what a sight, one of my favorite sights actually. It’s been a while since any games have taken place in the front yard and I was glad to see big brother and wife had arrived and coordinated this impromptu, mid week game. I smiled as I got out of the car and was thanked for planting that third oak tree years ago, it’s finally strong enough to act as first base.
I laughed at their silly antics then looked over to the other side of the yard where another son and hubby were working on the suburban . I had been out with friends and had driven home with one so after hugs on the driveway before she left, I walked over to check on how they were doing and give hugs to my grease monkeys.
As I walked back toward the house, I hollered over my shoulder that my car was out of gas, to which I received the reply “I’ll run out and get you some”… I jokingly say, I don’t pump gas, not that I don’t know how, it’s just that he takes that good of care of me. All I have to do is park my vehicle with an empty tank behind one of his vehicles and like a miracle my tank always ends up full. I smiled at him, and made my way into the house where I was sure I would find dinner dishes that needed to be cleaned up.
I had just returned from a girls night out dinner. The kids had finished preparing their dinner on their own, and I never expected them to clean the kitchen before I had arrived back home. Especially with how beautiful the weather is these past few days; it’s just way too hard not to stay outside until the mosquitoes start to nibble. As I puttered it around the kitchen, throwing dirty dishes in the dishwasher and taking pots and pans to the sink, my daughter-in-law made her way into the kitchen. She said they couldn’t leave because my son had gone with his father to get gas. That’s a thing we do, if anyone needs to run an errand it’s a good time to talk and spend one on one time and so, often we take someone with us or hubby and I go together, like we had done earlier that morning top down in the Miata, driving to his two errands, just being together.
That’s a goal in this family. The being together stuff. Not the well planned, beautifully executed, holiday festivities, but the times when we are just together doing life things.
I was in the middle of a somewhat serious, but candid conversation with my daughter-in-law in the kitchen when my son got back. He asked a couple of questions to make sure everything was OK because we were talking about something important, and we both smiled and said “yeah, we’re fine, just talking.” He put his arms around her and said, “are you ready to go yet?” she replied, “your mom is still talking to me,” then a moment later he was back with “hey we really need to go.” I smiled, and sent them away with goodbyes, and I love yous for the night. When the door closed behind them, I walked into the coffee room. I was in need of some quiet time. When I did I saw something my daughter-in-law had left. Earlier we had been discussing some health concerns, and I had recommended taking magnesium. I told her I would share some of a great one that we enjoyed, to see if she liked it. When I saw that she left the container I put it to the side of the counter to give to her at a later time, then I heard the back door open. There she was coming back and saying “I forgot the container” and I smiled and handed it to her. She was walking back out the door when I looked up and said “hey, if you ever get frustrated by my advice or counsel, you don’t need to tell Nate ‘your mom is driving me crazy’ you could just tell me to back off,” and she replied “oh I definitely would, we’ve gotten way too close for me not to just tell you.”
I returned to the coffee room and thought about our spaces, whether it’s my coffee room, conversation in the kitchen, a drive in the car, or a kickball game in the front yard. It doesn’t have to be fancy, or large. It just has to be. It has to exist, that place where those you love can come, where they know they are loved, excepted, heard, and seen. The place where they can be themselves with no explanation. I look back over the years to that time when God placed it on my heart to start creating a home, at safe place, more than just the place we live, the place we love. I’m grateful we cultivated the space and I’m grateful for the lives who inhabit it.
Are you cultivating safe places? Are you allowing for healthy conversations and reflections? Find ways this week to be more intentional about your time with family and friends.
Matthew 18:20
John 15:12 – 15
Mark 3:31–35
Mark 2:15 – 17
Luke 7:36
John 21:15-17
Heavenly Father,
I thank you for the many examples you’ve given us of what it means to be in relationship. I think you for family, such a special bond. I ask that you help me to be intentional when I am with those I love. I ask that you allow me to hear what they are really saying and in doing so show how very much I love them for who they are, each and every one, individual, created by you, loved. I thank you, Lord, for time with friends. I thank you for friends who listen, friends who, pray with you, friends who uplift and hold you. I pray that, as my family grows, they are not just family to one another, but continue to be friends, who desire to do life together. amen
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