It’s only halfway over and it’s a day from hell. It’s sad really because it started out so sweetly when I looked into the face of my baby and said “good morning” to which she replied “mommy get coffee?” She knows me well. One cup of coffee and a bunch of crap later, I was desperately in need of something to turn my day around.
I went in search of the Cosmic brownies my 6 year old had asked for to pack in her camp lunches this week. The box was empty which was a good thing because that would have messed up my progress in my heath and fitness goals. I thought about retail therapy, but I can’t afford to shop for things I don’t need and I couldn’t think of anything I needed, not even from the grocery store. I definitely thought a drink would be nice, but coffee wasn’t strong enough and it was too early for something stronger, besides I have a rule about drinking on a bad day.
So I was left with only one option, and that’s how I ended up sitting here with my toes soaking in bubbling, hot, aromatic water while a complete stranger gives me a foot and leg massage. Being around people is the absolute last thing I want right now, which make the salon the perfect place to hide out until I get control of my attitude. Here they speak a totally different language and are not bothered at all by the fact that my smile is on hiatus and I’m not speaking except to answer their basic questions as to what services I’d like.
As I sit here I’m contemplating the times Jesus needed a break from the crowds, from the disciples, even from his own family. I can see Him shaking His head as He went off alone to pray, knowing full well that a nice long talk with the Father would put things back into perspective for Him.
That’s what I’m desperately in need of right now..... the Father’s perspective. I’m quite aware that anger and emotion are fueling these thoughts I have right now. It will take a miracle to change this attitude.
So as I sit and enjoy the foot massage I’m seeking His power to overcome in these moments. My flesh wants to hold on to the anger but my spirit is pleading with me to just let it go and experience what only God can give in these moments. Peace. His peace, the kind that lasts, that lingers, that seeps down into the very deepest parts of your souls where the dark and ugliness like to hide out. Pease, the kind that helps you to see His love for you, and it overwhelms you to the point that tears flow and then He whispers.... “I love those that hurt you, and anger you with the same love.”
And that’s when I realize the perfect stranger in front of me must think I am a complete basket case with tears streaming down my face I am incapable of smiling as she paints my toes so perfectly. If only she knew it was the power of His love washing over me. Washing away this bad day, reminding me once again that He’s all I need on any kind of day. That He’s big enough and strong enough to handle my problems and I can cast my cares on Him.
Thank you Father for a new perspective. My circumstances did not change just how I’m looking at them. Through your eyes and that’s good enough for the moment.
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