The Accident

It only took one word before I knew something bad had happened. "Mom I need you to come.., car accident..., airbag deployed...., please come Mom, hurry."
I listened to the broken sentences on my iwatch, I knew I needed to answer the call on my phone, but it wasn't near me, and my gut said not to ignore the call.  It was my baby (my almost 19 year old baby).  She was one car in a four car pile up and she was scared.  I raced to get my car keys and jumped in my car, she was 20 minutes away and she needed me.  In those first moments I felt all kinds of emotion.  I was grateful she was making the phone call, I wanted to be there faster, to see for myself she was really ok,  I could here her voice saying, mom can you please just come, please come. I dialed her back as soon as I was in the car.  She kept asking me to come fast before the police starting questing them....it was in that moment that I knew she needed to do this on her own.  Her voice broke as she said she couldn't.  I prayed a quick prayer, steadied my voice and told her she had to.  I told her to take a deep breath, pray right them that God calm her, give the facts as she remembered and nothing else.  I would be there soon.  She had me on the phone when the questioning started, and I was so glad to hear her answer the questions calmly and clearly.  We pulled up on the scene moments later and I rushed to her.  Not one for physical contact she let me hold on to her and hugged me back.  I could see for myself she was banged up but ok.

I learned something today, something I already knew, but I saw it in a different way.  This momma can't fix everything.  I can't keep the bad things from happening.  God's been working on my big time about this.  I'm having to see and know in ways that aren't fun, that He's in charge.  My head knows but  my heart is slow to follow its lead.  I want only good for them as any mom would.  I don't want the pains of this would to infiltrate their lives, but the truth is...we live in a fallen world. So lately my praery has been for my kids to know and depend on Him way more than they do me.

Yesterday the Pastor said in the sermon that all Satan has to do to win is distract us from the things of the Lord.....he said Satan doesn't get to rule us....Satan won't get MY kids!!!!!!  My greatest desire is to know that my children walk with the Lord.  To see that He is guiding their steps and making their paths.

 I am not so naive to think that today could have had a different outcome; every time my kids leave the house I pray it won't be the last time I see their face.  I am so thankful for the protection He places on them.  I am thankful for the steps they themselves take to be safe.  But bad things still happen and the true test comes when we are faced with the bad things.  So tonight I'm thankful for the outcome, but my prayer is no matter what He allows me to walk through is this journey as a Mom, I serve and praise Him first, in the joy and the pain!