My Shield and Protector

 I sat on the floor kneeling against the futon in June’s library, just like I do every Tuesday night as we spend time together in prayer. The atmosphere changes when we bow together to worship our God through prayer. There is an overwhelming sense of His presence as we sit heads bowed and call on Him. There is the beauty of His power and presence when we pour out to Him, as each word is spoken and our needs and concerns are laid before the throne a weight is lifted. It’s not a weight I desire to carry and in these moments of intimacy, through gut wrenching, honest, open prayer I have met my God in an altogether new way. 

  I was there on Tuesday and as I prayed out the needs and burdens I asked God to do whatever it takes to show His will, His power, to not let me miss His working in all things. I prayed over brokenness, and I asked for restoration. I cried out that I trusted Him no matter what.  

   I drove home with a knowledge that I love and serve a God who sees. A God I can trust. My circumstances remained unchanged, but I was resolved to trust him fully. 

   Little did I know how quickly I would be put to the test. 

   I woke the next morning and started my day as I always do in my coffee room reflecting and praying for Him to guide me that day. Our day would begin shortly with all the typical craziness you would expect to find in a household of 8 all getting ready at the same time.  It’s even crazier these days as the home renovation and sale of our business seem to have collided on our timeline.  The stress has been building and I’ll admit we haven’t been handling it as we know we should. Brad and I were in a disagreement and it was a rare occasion that I didn’t want to talk it out. So, out of character for us, we weren’t talking.  A son was also upset with me that morning and ran off to work without resolution because he felt I was too concerned about his health that morning. He didn’t have time for my mothering and let me know. 

   I had a bit of time yesterday before I needed to dress the girls for dance so I pulled out the fridge to clean behind.  My youngest son, Con was in the kitchen waiting for his bacon to cook, and moved slightly out of my way so I could work.  I vacuumed and mopped behind it before pushing it back in and then removed the front grill to wash. It was covered with dust so I got down on the floor and proceeded to try and vacuum some of the coil which I new would be dirty as well. The stubborn dust refused to budge and I was running out of time. I turned to grab a can of compressed air from under the kitchen sink and got back down on the floor again. After six sprays I was glad to see the dust gone, I pulled the trigger one last time when the air around me ignited in a flash fire.  I was immediately covered in flames. All I could see was fire in my face. The ignition in the kitchen was loud and the force shook the upstairs that,  the smoke alarms, but especially my screams, brought my children running. 

   As I stood my face on fire, Con stood almost helpless as he saw me catch fire. I tore off the light sweater I was wearing, I yelled for the kids to get Brad and I ran to the pool as my skin still burned. 

   In a situation like this so many different things are going on at once.  Con sees me on fire but it happened so fast there was no time for him to react, my kids upstairs heard me scream, a scream I have never screamed before, and thought all manner of things, that the fridge had fallen on me, that the roof was coming down, as the blast had lifted the access panel to the attic upstairs and insulation fell down, or worst yet, Brad’s fear I was rescuing our baby girl from the pool, as he saw me run in horror to jump into the pool from his office window.  

   Brad took me to the ER where I spent much of yesterday. I will be ok, first and second degree burns which with proper care will heal in time. The hair will one day all grow back. I’m beyond grateful this was not as serious as it could have been, and I’m grateful it was me and not one of the kids. 

   Today I visited the burn clinic to assess the situation, clean the wounds and learn how to care for them at home. My left side suffered the most damage, with second degree burns on my arm, hand, and face.  It’s not pretty, but still it will heal. 

   I will never ask God why, but I do ask that for whatever purpose He allows things to happen in my life I learn from it.  I can already see the blessing and healing (apart from the burns) that will come from this. And I will forever praise God for his protection from it being worse.  Tuesday when I prayed that I would accept anything that came my way if it could be used for His glory I meant it. And so today I glorify the Lord, for He is with me, my shield  and protector.